2012-03-08

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In the last few days, I've drastically cut down on smoking [rolling tobacco, Adıyaman]. This is my third attempt, first without the help of general anesthesia. I'm experiencing a new high, something that's much more fun than smoking itself or even that first, buzzy cigarette you have after a short break. I hope it's the quitting (or cutting down, I'm not sure what's the final goal here) and not something else wrong with me.

I've actually started feeling the blood flow to my extremities and other appendages. It's a weird, peaceful -- almost meditative -- and healthy feeling. (Oh gods, I hope it's not an illness.) It's what feels like would be the opposite of numbing, like when you warm up after coming in from playing out in the snow. I like to attribute it to O2 replacing CO and CO2 in my blood.

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